Springtime treat

One of my favorite parts about spring and the changing weather is that night becomes an extension of the day, and offers itself as an option for exploring.  One of my favorite things is to step outside on a spring night and feel brisk-but-still-warm air wash around me.  On these nights, I love to walk around my neighborhood, lit warmly by a few streetlights, but mainly from the glow of living room windows spilling onto the sidewalks. 

As a teen, I used to go alone, and it was a quiet time to clear my mind.  The houses all seemed like miniature scenes, all a bit different, and offering a teeny peek into another's world.  Now, I love sharing this with Mike.  The world seems to slow down, everyone tucked cozily into their houses.  For us, it's a great break from watching nightly TV shows where we simply exist in parallel.  It almost feels sneaky to be out, like curfew has long expired and we're just enjoying the quiet time spent together.

What do you look forward to with spring?

image via loptics.com

Where do you like to talk?

It's no news that one of the key components to a successful relationship is communication.  However, in the midst of our busy lives, between working, exercising, attending to others (especially if you have children), feeding ourselves, staying organized, and taking a little time for ourselves, it isn't hard to go a complete day without so much as a one-minute conversation with our partners.

In a Redbook article I just read, one couple who was interviewed mirrored this struggle: "'It's funny, because I always thought that when you lived with somebody, you'd automatically know everything that was going on,' she says. 'But we find that if we don't take that time to connect with each other, it's really easy for life to get in the way.'" For couples who live together, communication needs to be more intentional.

Having a good conversation with my husband is one of the things that fills me up most.  I'm reminded of how much I care about the person I've chosen to spend my life with.  But, sometimes sitting across the table and looking into each others' eyes can make me... well... speechless.  I feel like our best conversations come from shoulder-to-shoulder moments, like going on walks or driving in the car.  The lack of eye contact takes off the pressure off of having to say something quickly in return.  Words come more freely and naturally.

This weekend we are taking a little trip to Galena, IL -- one of my favorite places on earth.  I went there all the time growing up and have loved sharing it with Mike.  One of the best parts is all the time in the car.  It's a 2.5 hour drive to get there, plus all the long, winding country roads between the antique stores, wineries, and quaint downtown make for lots of car time, too.  I'm looking forward to relaxing and catching up with my husband!

How about you?  Where do you feel like you have your best conversations?


image via Pinterest

Cute couple alert: J+J

We've all heard the quote: couples who play together stay together.

I've joined this awesome new program called Happify (you can read more about it here), and one of the activities highlighted the importance of savoring events together:

In a study ^[S-7] about savoring strategies, researchers found that a savoring strategy called capitalization, or sharing, enhances our cognitive well-being (i.e., life satisfaction) and increases our daily positive affect, over and above the impact of the positive event itself.
The research suggests that sharing positive experiences may allow individuals to perceive themselves positively in the eyes of others, hence boosting self-esteem and facilitating positive appraisals of one’s life.

 I kind of love this!  Basically, the excitement and enjoyment that comes from savoring an event together is actually more satisfying than the event to begin with!  Maybe that's why JT and Jessica love grocery shopping:



I started flipping through some photos of yesterday's birthday girl, Jessica Biel, and her man JT.  At first I was thinking, "Meh, celebrity couple photos, so fake, so staged, meh...." But then I started seeing the fun they were having.  (Not to mention their adorable, almost always-matching style!)  Check it out:

I love the photo of them sledding!  Now, who knows how long Hollywood will let this marriage last, but for right now, these newlyweds are looking pretty happy!  Maybe it's because they do things TOGETHER.  Even the little things like grocery shopping can become more exciting if you savor them, look forward to them, be present in the moment together while doing them.

I got to thinking that it's when Mike and I make time to play, I do tend to feel closer to him.  Once a week, we try to have some sort of adventure where all we focus on is each other and whatever we're doing.  Last weekend was amazing for that!  We had a big day out, dining at a far-flung Pizza Hut (his fave childhood restaurant), a walk in a wintry forest preserve, blacklight minigolf at an arcade, and much more!  Truly, it didn't matter much what we were doing, but being away from home and our daily responsibilities really gave us the opportunity to just focus on each other and enjoy the moments of the day.  The best part is I'm still enjoying it now!  Savoring in the moment creates a back-log for later, too.

  

Here's a snapshot from the forest preserve part.

So, readers, tell me: what do you do to feel more connected to your partner?