I've joined this awesome new program called Happify (you can read more about it here), and one of the activities highlighted the importance of savoring events together:
In a study [S-7] about savoring strategies, researchers found that a savoring strategy called capitalization, or sharing, enhances our cognitive well-being (i.e., life satisfaction) and increases our daily positive affect, over and above the impact of the positive event itself.I kind of love this! Basically, the excitement and enjoyment that comes from savoring an event together is actually more satisfying than the event to begin with! Maybe that's why JT and Jessica love grocery shopping:
The research suggests that sharing positive experiences may allow individuals to perceive themselves positively in the eyes of others, hence boosting self-esteem and facilitating positive appraisals of one’s life.
I started flipping through some photos of yesterday's birthday girl, Jessica Biel, and her man JT. At first I was thinking, "Meh, celebrity couple photos, so fake, so staged, meh...." But then I started seeing the fun they were having. (Not to mention their adorable, almost always-matching style!) Check it out:
I love the photo of them sledding! Now, who knows how long Hollywood will let this marriage last, but for right now, these newlyweds are looking pretty happy! Maybe it's because they do things TOGETHER. Even the little things like grocery shopping can become more exciting if you savor them, look forward to them, be present in the moment together while doing them.
I got to thinking that it's when Mike and I make time to play, I do tend to feel closer to him. Once a week, we try to have some sort of adventure where all we focus on is each other and whatever we're doing. Last weekend was amazing for that! We had a big day out, dining at a far-flung Pizza Hut (his fave childhood restaurant), a walk in a wintry forest preserve, blacklight minigolf at an arcade, and much more! Truly, it didn't matter much what we were doing, but being away from home and our daily responsibilities really gave us the opportunity to just focus on each other and enjoy the moments of the day. The best part is I'm still enjoying it now! Savoring in the moment creates a back-log for later, too.
Here's a snapshot from the forest preserve part.
So, readers, tell me: what do you do to feel more connected to your partner?
That's such a good point - about making it a priority to DO stuff together as a couple on a regular and freqent basis. I do think it helps people feel, and stay, closer. Maybe that's part of why my bf (of 2 years) and I just broke up a couple months ago. It's ok, you don't have to feel sad for me, lol... there was obviously other stuff going on than simply not doing fun stuff together often enough. :)
ReplyDeleteAnywho... love the reminder you gave us in this blog. :)
Sarah
Sarah, thanks so much for coming back to my blog! You never do know what people will do when they see your link. Glad we're blog friends! I'm sorry to hear about your breakup. I've had a few crushing ones in my lifetime, too. You learn something from everyone, and it makes you a better person for the next love who comes into your life!
Delete-Emily